Mission Fangirl
by penKittyChan
Summary: What happens when girls steal Gaara's shirt. Mwuahaha. A series of short slices involving the characters and their fangirls. Dun dun dun. So far, the torturing has involved Gaara, Kankuro, and Kiba.
1. Slice One: Gaara

**My first Naruto fanfiction! Please Read and Review!**

'**Kay, a couple of warnings:**

**I'm pretty new to the show and or manga "Naruto", ****so if I get a character's personality wrong, TELL ME**** PLEASE!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gaara. (Wish I did!)**

**Mission Fangirl****: Slice One**

Gaara scowled. Honestly. It was the third time this week, and it was getting old.

He stomped down the hallway and threw open the door.

"Alright," He growled.

"Which one of you stole my shirt THIS time?"

Mass giggles erupted and someone recited loudly, "We don't know what you're talking about, Gaara. By the way, nice abs."

Gaara clenched his fists. It was his mission to PROTECT these girls, but, wouldn't it be easier to protect a bunch of dead bodies?

Through clenched teeth, Gaara muttered, "One…last…chance. WHO—STOLE—MY—SHIRT?"

More giggles.

"Gaara, you're so cute when you're angry! Wait, what are you--"

…………………………………….

A few minutes later, Gaara was pulling his shirt back on and thinking of a good way to admit that he'd failed his mission.

He carefully stepped over a corpse of a blonde girl and walked out the door.

**MWUAHAHA! The end of the shirt-stealing fangirls. **

**Read and Review!**


	2. Slice Two: Kankuro

**Wow! I didn't think I was going to do a second chapter, but this is fun, so here goes!**

**Mkay****, I'm still a little hesitant about the characters and such, so if you notice anything totally off, PLEASE ****TELL**** ME!!**

**By now you get the idea I hope—random characters from the show "Naruto" having to protect crazy ****fangirls**** as missions, and what goes on from there. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own ****Kankuro**** or ****Temari****. But if you didn't already figure that out, then, ****no**** offense, but you've ****gotta**** be a couple of pancakes short of a stack.**

**No offense. **

**Warning: Mild violence and swearing. ****And this is just a**** crack**** slice—it's not really proper ****fanfiction****, I know. But I find it amusing, so I hope other people might as well. **

**Read and Review. Though honestly, if you can bear through reading all of this, you might as well just review. :D**

**Mission ****Fangirl****: Slice Two**

Kankuro stepped out of the shower and turned off the water, then groped out onto the shelf for a towel.

The self was empty.

Kankuro had a bad feeling about this, but he pushed down his rising panic and said to himself, "I'll just put on what I had before, even if I am wet."

But his clothes weren't there either.

Knowing he'd regret this decision even as he reached out for the knob of the bathroom door, Kankuro unlocked the door and poked his head out. "Could someone get me a towel?" He bellowed.

"KYAAAAAA!!!!!!!!"

Kankuro slammed the door shut as at least seven girls dive-bombed at him, clutching cameras and screaming, "IS YOUR HAIR NATURALLY THAT COLOR?"

"Holy shit," he swore, as the knob rattled. A few of the girls stuck their fingers under the door, and Kankuro could hear the screams of the girls fighting over who got to look through the keyhole.

"GO AWAY, YOU IDIOTIC BITCHES!!!" He screamed, stomping on the fingers that desperately wiggled under the crack between doorframe and floor.

Suddenly, it got very silent outside. Kankuro pressed his ear to the doorframe and listened.

KA-POW!

"KYAAA!!!"

"AAAAAAHH!!!!"

Kankuro screamed bloody murder and hid behind the toilet as an army of girls barged into the bathroom.

"GET OUT!!!!" He bellowed, only to have his voice lost under the giddy shrieks of all the girls crowding the small bathroom.

………………………

Kankuro lost it.

………………………

"BLOOD!!! BLOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!"

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!"

…………………………

_Three Hours Later:_

Temari walked into the bathroom and screamed. "EWWWW!!!!"

There was blood, dead bodies, pieces of dead bodies, and broken cameras all over the bathroom floor. Kankuro was crouched over in a corner, with a towel over his head, his eyes wide and crazy, muttering, "Where's the towel? No towel, unlock door, girlies come in, kiiiiiillll the girlies…"

Temari rolled her eyes and groaned. "Not again…what are we going to do when they find out you killed your charges? Damn it, Kankuro, this is the fourth time already!!! I told you to check for towels BEFORE you get in the shower!!!"

Kankuro's eyes rolled back into his head as a response of sorts.

**Okay, it seems a little weird to have ****Kankuro**** go crazy so easily, I know—but he's been taking care of these girls for a while now. Well, not THESE girls…just this batch…****mwuaha**

**Please Review! I'd really love some input, and I'd adore some suggestions on which character should be featured next! Thank you! **


	3. Slice Three: Kiba

**Third slice! I don't know if I like this one…tell me what you think!!! And I'd really like suggestions for what other characters I should do!**

**Warning: Language. And insanity. :D**

**Disclaimer: Duh. All Naruto-stuff belongs to the people who own the Naruto-stuff. **

**Mission Fangirl: Slice Three**

"Aww, you're soo cute!!"

"Does the big doggie like being petted?"

"Does the big doggie want a treat?"

"NOO!! GET THE HELL OFF!"

Kiba screamed as the group of girls sitting on him and petting him began to cram dog treats in his mouth.

Akamaru barked and growled at the group of girls shrieking with laughter.

They turned on him. "Ah, little doggie feels left out!" Squealed one, and the girls dragged the yelping Akamaru into the pile with them and began to give him the same treatment as Kiba.

"Leave Akamaru alone!" Kiba yelled, and tried to shove one redheaded girl off of him. She leaned forward and kissed his cheek, then was dragged away by the other girls now clamoring for a kiss.

Kiba began to choke on the stench of perfume as the mob of girls surged forwards onto him.

"It smells so awful!" He bellowed. "Why the hell would you wear something that strong?"

One girl responded, "It just smells different because you're stinky!"

Another girl shouted, "Let's give him a bath!!!"

The gang of girls screeched their enthusiasm for the idea, then effortlessly lifted Kiba and Akamaru up as one and carried them to the bathroom.

"Hey! Who squeezed my butt?!?" Kiba growled, and struggled to free himself.

All the girls, Kiba, and Akamaru crammed into the small bathroom.

"FILL THE BATH!!!" The mob demanded.

"B-bath?! No, you know, that's a really bad idea, I'll take a shower instead!!! All of you get out, and I'll shower!"

The group of girls ignored his pleas and Akamaru's frenzied barking, and filled the bathtub with boiling hot water.

"TAKE HIS CLOTHES OFF!!!"

Three girls began to tear his shirt off of him, and four others attacked his pants.

"WHAT? No, don't—HEY!!! WHAT THE HELL?? STOP THAT!!!"

As his pants were yanked down, Kiba decided that no mission was worth this.

……………………

Twenty minutes later, the last of the girls had been shoved into the supply closet near the bathroom. Kiba shook the glitter off of his hands, and pushed a wardrobe against the door as a blockade.

Akamaru barked his approval.

Kiba grinned. "I thought it was a good idea, too. Now, for a shower to get all this damn glitter make-up off. And that horrible smell of perfume or whatever shit they'd rubbed all over themselves!!" Kiba shuddered and went to take a much-needed shower.

……………………

Two days later, Hinata asked Kiba, "Umm...Kiba-kun? W-why is your c-closet screaming?"

Kiba twitched. "It's possessed. Stay away from it, or it will eat you."

Hinata squeaked.

**Wow, sorry for another bathroom-ish scene! I honestly didn't mean to…it just sort of happened. Oh well. Guess dogs don't like baths as much as cats! MWUHA. **

**Please review, if only to tell me to kill this collection of crack slices before they multiply much more and eventually take over the world. **


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